Responsibility

-I meant to post this yesterday, but I was too busy-


Someone special to me told me something that meant a lot yesterday -- and at the same time, weighed on me more than I realized at first:


"Even though you don't know it, someone is always looking up to you."


Those are powerful words anyway -- but coming from someone who means so much to you, that's intense.

I had to stop and think: What am I doing with my life; how am I living so that the people around me will benefit and could potentially follow my lead?

It's a huge responsibility.

Think about every time that you stood in the corner; every time you thought no one was looking, so it'd be no big deal -- just this once.

You're not flattering yourself, if you hold yourself to a higher standard than those around you. It's not some pipe dream -- a wish that people around you would take notice so that you mean something.

Think about it: you watch those around you closer than you'd ever admit. You look for examples, you look for similarities, you look for ideas -- you look for flaws, shortcomings.

That's something to consider in life. Sure, you may say that it's not anyone else's business so you can do what you want. But people make it their business. And if that's not good enough for you, you're a part of society -- you give and take -- so people will see and watch.

Everyone is accountable for his or her own actions.

Here's a real-life example: this morning I found out that my program director has read this blog before. You may say, "Duh, it's on the Internet. Don't do something stupid." But who'd have thought? Honestly, I'm flattered. But it's a good reminder.

Let's get to the point, though.

I've gotten a wake-up call. These are not things I've never know before. But just knowing that someone I care about is actually watching me -- of all people -- and taking note makes me want to live a life worth seeing and emulating that much more.

So here I am deciding to make every moment of my life mean something.

And I'm telling you to tell those you watch -- it'll encourage them (and flatter them a little).

Let me light up the sky for you.

I Wish...

... I had more time to post today. I have something really important to me that I need to put into words. But right now I have looming deadlines: Economic Theory paper and Economic Final Exam.

Oh, the joys of life.

Do I ever cherish them so.

It's just one of those [busy, busy] days.

Time

For many, it's just another dull, dreary, disappointing Monday morning.

For me, it's my last Monday morning in D.C. for a long, long time.

I woke up a little groggy and a little grumpy. I shaved and took a shower. I ironed my shirt on the table over a tower because after eight weeks here I still don't have an ironing board. I decided against a bagel, so I could sit with Alex on the eight o'clock bus, but she wasn't there -- I didn't get my Alex fix this morning before work!

It hit me on the bus: this is my last week in D.C. I got sad. I thought, " This isn't fair. Why do good things always have to end?"

Then I saw a Porsche on the road -- it made me smile. It kind of knocked me on the head: life isn't bad just because I'm leaving. It just means I need to cherish everything that much more!

So this morning I took extra care to notice everything -- to notice anything. I thought of a mental picture my economics professor used: when you look at a fence, that's all you see, but as you gradually move closer and look between the slots, a whole new world opens up behind them.
This morning I looked for that world.

I'm wearing my favorite pants -- they're gray pin-striped slacks from Banana Republic, and the only reason I could afford them is because my aunt and uncle got me a gift card for Christmas last year.

I listened for all my favorite songs on my MP3 player (and since it's a mix, I wasn't disappointed ever!).

I saw a Porsche, a Mustang and Corvette -- I love cars!

I saw a funny man riding a bike with a Connecticut jersey.

I saw a quaint little antique shop I'll probably never walk into, but I know my parents like antiques, so maybe I'll give them a heads up.

I saw the hotel at Dupont Circle I thought was so cool my first time there. I want to stay there sometime, even if I end up living in D.C.

I loved Dupont Circle to the same degree I did my first time there. I walked to the escalator and saw the man passing out Express newspapers -- I kindly declined.

I noticed all of the people frowning. I decided to be the one person smiling because I love life and D.C. and the Metro, even if it is late sometimes.

I took 91 steps down the escalator -- yes, I counted!

I looked at every person on the Metro and tried to see something different and unique in each of them. Highlights: I saw a man with Harry Potter glasses. An old man had a roller backpack -- I HATE them. I want to KICK them! Another man had a hearing aide. I saw a cute older woman in all black and white. She had these awesome glasses with beaded string to hold them on. She looked like a librarian only classier -- Library of Congress maybe?

I also saw a younger man get on. He stood in front of me, and he had a buzz haircut (i.e. really, really short). I love people like this. I like to look at their heads and see if there are bald spots. If they are really big or long, they probably ran into a table at some point in their life or got kicked playing soccer. Maybe that's morbid -- I call it a good time.

Oh, and he only had one little bald spot (probably just genetic or something).

I got off the Metro and proceeded up the escalator at Union Station. I cut off a man that tried to cut me off. I went into commuter mode and outwalked almost everyone. I love how fast I can walk comfortably. It makes me feel like all business all the time.

I got my favorite breakfast from my favorite place (Swiss oatmeal: cold oatmeal with milk and yogurt and raisins, bananas, apples and craisins). It's simply to die for! And I got my morning coffee.

I came to work. I LOVE our receptionist. She calls the me and one of the other interns here partners in crime -- we do keep this office lively! I passed out newspapers (got new print on my hands!) and caught up on my Facebook. And I had a "Gtalk date" with Alex.

Now it's time to bust out the econ paper, study and actually get a little work done too.

Since then I've been blogging about my glorious life.

Oh, and I'm in print again today! I don't think the thrill that brings will ever die -- something I've written has been immortalized. I love words, the craft of putting them together and the huge responsibility that comes with doing so -- it's powerful.

Sure, I only have one week left in D.C., but I'm going to make the most of it. I have an amazing job, amazing classes and even more amazing friends here. There's no way I'll let what I have waste away as I pout about it ending.

Now, I'm just hanging by a moment. And I wouldn't change it for the world.